don't laugh at karma
by AxZi
Summary: It fucks you up. Sawada Shizuka was perfectly content with her ordinary life. She had her hobbies (teasing people) and hung out with friends (mostly) and while she wasn't particularly close to her brother, at least she could count on him as entertainment. Now if only she hadn't laughed and said, "Mafia boss? How cool!" when hearing about her brother's nomination. ...Darned karma.


Disclaimer: not mine.

Title: don't laugh at karma

Genre: Friendship, action, family.

Characters in this chapter: Shizuka, Tsuna, Reborn, Sasagawa Kyoko.

Full summary:

It fucks you up. Sawada Shizuka was perfectly content with her ordinary life. She had her hobbies (teasing people), and hung out with friends now and then (usually now), and while she wasn't particularly close to her brother, at least she could count on him as entertainment. Now if only she hadn't laughed and said, "Mafia boss? How cool!" when hearing about her brother's nomination.

Darned karma.

By AxZi.

* * *

Hearing that your brother is going to be a mafia boss, how are you supposed to feel? I thought it was likely you should feel outraged, maybe for his sake, maybe for your own, maybe for his future victims. You should think about the crimes that mafia bosses commit. Maybe you should also wonder whether you'd be safe around him anymore, or will be in the future.

But on a very ordinary, ordinary day, in the room with the slight draft, my brother spat out his protests at the idea at the pint-sized hitman who'd brought them to us and I thought.. "Mafia boss? That's so cool!"

Sorry for not being mainstream.

"Shi—Shizuka! What are you saying?" My brother screeched, tensing up at the idea. Oops. I might've said it out loud, too.

"Ahaha, well, I mean." I shrugged evocatively and scratched the back of my collar, my legs swinging back and forwards over the side of his bed. Then I shrugged to myself. _Might as well._ "...Sorry for not being mainstream."

"Shizuka!" Tsuna yowled. He looked a lot like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, bristling like that, all his hair on end. Oh, wait. His hair was always on end.

"Ahaha...sorry, Tsuna."

My brother threw his hands up in defeat. That's my brother-that's how he should be. I took a moment to memorize the features of his face again.

Tsuna is a boy people can't call handsome. The closest he came to that was "small animal" but even then, it'd be a rodent like a chipmunk or a squirrel, rather than a small animal that was actually cute. Since boys' had this weird machotistic culture going on, this weak demeanor was probably the reason why people bullied him.

Maybe if he'd been more sociable to make up for his looks, or got really got at a sport, it might not be the case. But because he gave of that sort of shabby image, and then proceeded to prove people right about him from the get go with his lack of passion in anything (he wasn't even passionate about being an otaku), they bullied him.

Even if we're brother or sister, we're in different classes. He's one year older than me after all but even then we'd likely be split up. We go through different circles and most of the time when we're home at the same time, we retire to our bedrooms and see each other only at dinner. So we weren't really close. I didn't know about him the most basic things like his favourite colour or whether he'd had a crush on ayone yet. He probably didn't know the same about me. (It was Hibari I had a crush on, by the way.)

Getting right to the point, all of this meant that I didn't try and help him. Well, rather than not try, it really was more like couldn't be bothered. If it happened in front of me, I put a stop to it, since I wasn't that coldhearted a person that I wouldn't stick up for my own flesh and blood. And strangers too, come to think of it. Correction: wasn't so coldhearted as let anyone get bullied in my line of sight. But my brother deliberately hid his bruises and cuts because he was ashamed of them, in front of both me and mother. The bullies also knew better than to bully a person's brother right in front of them, so I almost never actually got the time to do anything about it.

Besides, I was an ordinary person. I wouldn't know how to put a stop to them bullying Tsuna out of my eyesight even if I wanted to. Threaten them with bodily harm-? They'd probably just hurt my brother worse for dragging me into it, and complaining to the school was useless too. I didn't want to say I let it happen, because I didn't want to be a mean person. I never deliberately tried to be mean, or cruel, or any of those things. (Exempting cheering on my brother becoming a mafia boss, surprisingly.)

The only way, I thought, that I could stop it was to stop Tsuna from hiding it from our mother. But Tsuna would never do it, and our father, for how little he visited us, already knew about Tsuna's situation and it was ongoing despite that, so either the school had done nothing or he hadn't told the school, and/or he didn't want to remove Tsuna from the school. Even though his problems would stop if he was allowed to attend a different one...maybe.

My brother becoming a mobster, though...it was the most interesting thing about him so far. I might actually hang out with him more, if he became a mobster. Because I am clearly hooked too easily by appearances, "mafia boss" to me, didn't give the impression of pain and horror despite it being in the word. But instead, I thought about power. I thought about boss. That sounds impressive, right?

An equivalent was listening to a lecture in history class and hearing about a country that controlled most of the world once upon a time. You know, because you're listening, that the country did shameless and awful things to approach that status, but the only thing you can think at that moment is that it had power. It became the most important country in the world. And that was probably why my reaction to this was so off.

"But you know," I said, sparkling in front of the pint-sized messenger and my brother; "Isn't that good for you? A mafia boss doesn't get bullies. You can get rid of them, make them—" I used my fingers to air-draw, "swim with the fishes!"

My brother looked towards the pint sized messenger, fed up with my shenanigans. _Awww._

"But I can't be a mafia boss! Besides, you're..." he trailed off and made a curving gesture with his hands like he was indicating an hourglass, "a kid! You can't be a hitman, that's impossible!"

He wasn't completely wrong, I thought as I folded my hands on my lap and inspected the messenger silently. Beady black eyes, which were wide in childlike innocence, and curly brown hair under a fedora complete with side burns and a suit, he looked like mafia but pint-sized, small, childish. Like he was playing make believe. I lifted my gaze and stared. Also, was that a chameleon on the brim?

The child "hmphed" argumentatively. "Thinking that way is giving up already." The child pointed at my brother, "For a mafia boss, everything's possible. Be a mafia boss. Make the impossible, possible."

...Was that a logo? I kinda felt like I was sitting on a bench in the cinema watching the before-movie commercials.

My brother body contorted in weird ways. "But that what I was saying, you're just a kid—"

"Here," the mobster wannabe cut off, shoving a sleave of documents into my brother's lap and succeeding in breaking his line of thought. My brother blinked, the cover of his bed shifting as he slid it open and discarded the envelop they'd been in.

The blood dropped completely from his face.

 _Hmm~?_

Curious, I shuffled sideways so I bumped my knee against his and noisely shoved my face in front of him, trying to see what he'd seen.

"...!"

 _...The fuck!_ Crime scene pictures. The kid had somehow come in possession of crime scene pictures. "...You've got to be kidding me..."

I felt faint, my lips pursing as I purused the top picture, before reaching out to check the one underneath it, and then the one underneath that. Three in total, all different crimes, all clearly snapped post humourishly.

My lips twitched in a humourless smile. "This is...a threat, right? A threat..."

The hitman drew his shoulder back, mock offended. "Me? Why would I do something like that to the future mafia boss and his right hand man~?"

That snapped me right out of it (kind of, the thoughts were still spinning in my head, I just pushed them aside.) I said, "I'm not a man, you know. I mean, I think I'd make a strapping boy who'd get all the ladies swooning, but that doesn't mean I'm *actually* a man.."

Not letting me get away with it, the hitman said, "Right hand woman, then."

Tsuna shook his head furiously. The colour hadn't yet returned to his face, and so hadn't his tongue, so he was relegated to mute protest.

"That's not what I meant...but I guess it's useless saying that to you." I let out a sigh, combing my fingers through my fringe as I thought, before turning my face at Tsuna. "Hey brother~ you also think it's creepy if you're own sister is you're right hand man, right? You don't need me to do your thing, I'd just get in the way." I clasped my hands together, sitting properly on the bed. "I'm just fragile and weak Shizuka after all, I couldn't possibly be any help surrounded by manly men like you of the business."

My brother got himself together enough to look offended at that. It was probably the "manly men" comment that'd made it, since he was the furthest away from manly right now. In fact, *I* was probably manlier than him right now, and I'm a lady~.

"Sister...you're not a lady," my brother replied, his face turning deadpan. Whoops, seemed that last slipped out, ahahaha.

"Haha.." I couldn't smother my ruthful laughter.

"Isn't it good?" The messenger cut in, after he'd taken a moment to observe our dynamics. He nodded wisely to himself. "It's good to keep it in the family. It's just a smaller version of a famiglia after all."

I didn't have to look up an online translater to know what that last word meant. But it brought me thinking.. "How is it that my brother will become a mafia boss, though?"

"I'm still waiting to hear whether the pictures were threats," my brother muttered.

I pushed myself further away from him, settling back down on the bed very properly with my hands clasped on my lap. I met the unfantomably dark eyes of our guest.

The child didn't fidget underneath the weight of our twin gazes. His lips curved as if he was hiding a secret instead. But he did answer my brother's question with an offhand, "Those were the pictures of the previous heirs."

"..."

I was struck speechless, and my brother's back went ramrod straight like someone was using him as a lightning rod. My brother was much more expressive than me, even in situations like this.

"I understand now," I said, moving my eyes from the kid to meet those of my brother's. They were wide and chestnut brown, like a small animals'. I said very seriously, "Have fun with that," and clasped my brother on the shoulder like I was in mourning already.

My brother's face was beautiful at that, all screwed up and twisted like he didn't know whether to cry or not. If the previous heirs were dead, it meant he'd be the last on the list. Understandable. It also meant he'd be targeted as well, likely the reason this hitman was here.

A thought had to hit me mid celebration, though. "...Wait, does that mean I'm on the list as well?" _Fuck._

The kid's lips curved up higher, not enigmatically.

And that was the first day we met with Reborn. It wouldn't be the last. (Dammit.)

We also found out that we were related to some guy named Giotto, and that's why we were on the list of heirs. I found that very nonsensical. Did Reborn's employers really have to go to the trouble of training a couple of replacement heirs when they could just pick one from their own ranks? Even if they weren't blood related, the mafia was not a monarchy after all. So it was very weird to me.

I asked Reborn this a week after he'd first shown up, while the girl my brother had confessed to was berating our mother for calling him useless-Tsuna like most of her grade also did. We were in the kitchen, were Reborn smiled his approval of my question over his coffee, "Caught that already? Well done."

It didn't matter that it was in the hearing of said girl and mother, since both of them in their own way were as oblivious like bats flying without echolocation in the night. We could discuss this like adults nevertheless.

"The Vongola is special in regards to most mafia families," he went on to say, before taking a sip from his coffee. The black swirled in his cup, as black as his soul. "Usually yes, that would be how it goes. None of the bosses after the first, Giotto, were related to him. That's true. He retired here in Japan, after all. But we put utmost value in tradition. When nobody can agree on a successor, blood becomes the next qualifier of being heir. It's always been this way."

All I got out of that was, I mumbled, "So there's disagreement..."

Reborn's chair creaked as he leaned more of his weight on it. "That's right. So, make sure you do your utmost best to become the best second hand woman you can be, okay? Your lives may depend on it."

I let my lips twitch bitterly again and flattened my palm against the stone of the island. "...Riiight."

But that did make me think. I'd been acting pretty lacksaidasally about it. My dreams about appearances and power had already been crushed the moment I saw those crime pictures, but at the same time, the thought went through my head "this is someone else's problem..."

Even if it was, though, that someone else was my brother. I *should*-and the keyword here definitely was *should*-be more worried about this. I just couldn't crop up the effort. I pondered to myself, _does this make me a bad person? Or just a careless one?_ After all, if it was self interest that motivated me, I should still be worried right? I, just like my brother, was related to this Giotto person. And from how Reborn was acting, it didn't matter that I was female—I was still on that list.

 _There must really be hard disagreements about it then..._ Because Vongola was traditional after all, and adding the fact that most mafia are boys' club sort of places, I would expect that my gender would somehow be taken disparagingly against me despite the fact that it wouldn't stop me from being able to hold a gun or ordering others to make people "swim with the fishes"—which tv had convinced me was a key part of being a mafioso.

 _Maybe it's just in my nature to not treat anything seriously._ So concluding, I nodded to myself and said, "Thanks for the information."

Reborn inclined his head and went back to his coffee fancying.

"—duelled and won against the kendo club's captain for me. And that's why your son isn't useless at all!" My brother's girl with the sunset hair concluded heatedly before a hiccup seemed to go through her and her body lost it's tension. The flame on her forehead went out in a *poof*.

My mother was looking at the girl like she'd never seen her before, before commenting lightly, "I'm so happy you made a friend, Tsu-kun."

"Tsu-kun's" head met the island with a clunk from where he'd been watching the two go at it. I gave my brother's girl another once-over. Girlish clothing, but maturely cut short hair and wide eyes just like a *cute* small animals', I had to admit he could've done worse. ...She looked suspiciously like mother, though.

I stroked my brother's back. "There there. Don't lose hope. I think you'd make a good pair of small animals." I gave him a thumb's up and the doubting look, like he was wondering where my marbles had gone, was truly insulting. _Then don't be so easy to tease, brother_.

"What was that?" The girl muttered to herself in a small voice. I sympathised. _Reborn gets us all in the end, darling. He gets us all._

A shudder rippled through my back as I remembered my first experience with the dying will bullet. It had actually, and surprisingly, been when shielding Tsuna from it. I hadn't known it was harmless – or, as harmless as a bullet that could kill you if you didn't have any will to live could be. I had just seen a glint in the air and had moved an inch more to put myself in it's path, mainly on automatic. If it had killed me, too bad. I'd have been dead so I wouldn't have known, so I couldn't regret it either.

...Lucky I'd had other regrets, or I'd be stone cold dead right now.

"You don't feel well?" My brother's chair clattered as he shoved it backwards and stood up. "Maybe you should go back home. I'll escort you there." He shot Reborn a vile look which the hitman deserved. This'd been the first time my brother had invited his girl to our home, after all. It had been special, and Reborn had ruined it by ruining any good impression Kyoko might've been able to make on our mother. It didn't matter that what she'd scolded mother about was true, nevertheless, some things were better left unsaid until you know each other better. This had been one such thing.

I pondered about inviting my crush over for lunch. The idea, for some reason, was more oulandish to me than the thought of my brother becoming a mafia boss. Probably because the latter could and had actually happened but Hibari Kyouya would never agree to crowded in this house with the rest of us. ...I was still holding out hope he'd agree to go out with me though; we'd just have to date somewhere remote to get to so it'd just be the two of us.

I tipped my head to the side. I was actually someone who gained sustenance when being around people (especially while teasing them) so I wondered why I'd grown to like such an antisocial person? I let my eyes flicker over the occupants of this blue tiled kitchen. ...Ah, was it because of appearance again? How he was the chairman of the displinary committee and had power from it...My brows furrowed. _I'm shallow,_ I realized.

Reborn nudged me before I could get too sunk into my thoughts.

"Hm~m, what is it?"

"Go with them," he ordered, nodding imperiously at the kitchen's exit, where my brother and his paramour had just left through.

My eyebrows shot up. "And why exactly should I do that? I'd be intruding on those two love birds." I trailed off, "Wait, birds? Hm, maybe they're more like love chipmunks? That sounds weird, but I can see them gathering nuts and wandering in the woodlands.."

"A family has to have a good relationship with each-other," Reborn said.

Though he didn't explain or elaborate, I understood his thought processes. They were a pain in the back, after all, so with a gushy sigh I pushed my chair back and did as I was told. I was being domineered by a pre-teen, ah, how low had I sunk...

Surprisingly, my brother and his girl were still standing in the garden in front of the house, chatting with one another. He could actually keep a conversation going? _Who is this boy who's taken over my brother's body and his place? Not Tsuna, that's for sure._

Chuckling a little at my own mean spirited thoughts, I strode over the grass to them. "Hey brother. And future sister."

Tsuna went a bright red colour like a fire engine; my future sister-in-law mumbled something distractedly before giving me a more appropriate greeting, "Shizuka-chan."

I looked around at the semi-crowded road to the side of our house. "So, what were you two planning to do? Kyoko still wanting to go home? She could also recuperate here, you know. It'd be the first step to her moving in."

My brother hissed, "Shizuka." And I preened at the annoyance in that sole word. _I'll never get enough of this._

My brother's girl tilted her head to the side, sparkles and butterflies appearing behind her. "..Moving in? Ohh, so you're in the joke too!" She turned excitedly to Tsuna. "Like that time you confessed to me in your underpants," she laughed, "You two're such a family of jokesters. I like that." _Hey now, that's too much._

Meeting my brother's gaze, I tried to convey the pity I felt. His eyes went dark in irritation, his gaze telling me, _I don't need you to tell me._ Poor guy.

"But yes, I am planning to go home," Kyoko concluded apologetically. She even bowed.

I scratched the back of my neck, "That's fine. If you're really not feeling well.." _I'd have liked to recuperate from that experience too, far, far away from Reborn._ "You sure, though?" _If I had to go through that pain, why not feel it with me?_

Kyoko's eyes stood genuinely apologetically. "We could meet up another time next week?"

I blinked at that, caught of guard, wondering whether I'd really heard her. "...Me? You mean, my brother right."

The girl's sunset hair swung as she shook her head, smiling prettily with pink lips. "No, I'd really get to know you too. Since I think you're a very cute person, Shizuka-chan."

"...!"

I was nailed to the ground at that proclamation, for a second or so, before I pushed myself into recovery, a crafty smile appearing on my face, "Then, maybe we should really ditch this guy and take our first step towards our honeymoon. Doesn't that sound nice," I concluded dreamily, and side-stepped my brother's elbow, "Just the two of us in a tropical island somewhere, the sun in your hair as we passionately—"

"Such jokesters!" Kyoko laughed, eyes sparkling. _Tch. I wanted to complete that sentence._

"But I don't think I'm your type," the girl went on, and actually gave me a once over of all things. Her voice was still innocent when she suggested, "If Tsuna goes out with me, then you should go out with my brother." She gasped at her own idea, "That'd be so nice! My brother loves jokes!"

 _Oy oy, are you calling us jokes?_

"Sister," my brother gritted out, sending me a look like, _you've created a monster._ I sent one right back, _it's because you're too much of a dweeb to set her right about your confession._ He inclined his head. Point to me.

Somehow in the middle of our conversation we'd started walking, so we weren't actually that far away from her house. That reminded me, "speaking of which, is your brother in right now?"

Kyoko checked her watch, "Ah, at this point I think he'd be busy training in our back garden..."

I folded my arms behind my head. "I see. Guess I won't be able to say hello."

I didn't really know the other Sasagawa that well. After all, he was several classes higher than me. But I'd always thought he was cool. He met my type, so what Kyoko had said was true in a certain way. I wouldn't mind going out with him. He had power, even if he barely used it, since his passionate demeanor scared most people away who might otherwise join the boxing club. That's why he was always looking for people to join who met his high standards, but so far only three other people had. _It must be lonely, nobody wanting to join because of him._ If it was about the sport itself, that'd be different...but no, it was because he was the captain that people didn't.

I had a weakness for pitiful people as well, but only people who *had* power, unlike my brother, but were nevertheless pitiful in some way. I wanted to look after people but also be looked after; I didn't want to be relied on, so them being balanced enough they didn't need me but would still be worse of if I wasn't there was the best. Actually being relied upon but not meeting expectations was a secret fear of mine. I'd had a bad experience with my first boyfriend who'd done that, a real broken bird who I'd looked after like he wanted, but the care had repulsed him who was used to rejection, so after our first fight he'd rejected me instead. Like someone saying "no, I QUIT!" after they were fired from their job.

I grimaced mentally at the pettiness. Yeah, that's why I needed someone like Hibari. He wouldn't need me at all.

"So here we are," Kyoko said, and I looked up to see we'd stopped at a red bricked house of average size, of the sort that were all around us in this neighbourhood. The garden was more well cared for on average than the others, though.

"Right," my brother said, and looked like he didn't know what to say.

"Right," the sunset girl said brightly back before bowing, her hair falling over her face with a flop. "Thank you for inviting me." She got out of her bow and moved her hand towards the door knob. "We'll see each other at school tomorrow, okay?"

"Bye," I waved a lackdaisal hand and my brother mumbled a see ya as well. She closed the door behind her and we were left behind again.

I slung an arm around my brother's shoulders and dragged him onto the streets before he could protest. "Your first date! Your first daaa~te! How does it feel? Is your heart going doki-doki?" I teased him all the while, and rubbed my knuckles roughly into his hair. "When is the wedding?"

My brother grumbled, "Wedding bells aren't in the future for me. Shizuka, stop it." He swiped at my hands, his irritation clear in the pinch between his brows. Why was it that I thought this look suited him best?

"Why~? Am I not being a thoughtful, supporting sister? I've been dropping hints left and right, doing what you yourself can't do... Since she still thinks your confession was a joke," I told the brother in my grasp and hopped over a particularly wobbly brick.

"Gack!" my brother grunted as he was partly chocked and I let him go, making jazz hands, "Whooops, I forgot to drop you, sorry, my apologies~"

His eyes were positively murderous as he fixed me with a look, continuing rubbing his neck. "You're the devil."

I cocked my head and smiled broadly, refreshingly. "Ahh~ I really can't say anything to that. I'm just being a nice sister."

We bickered like this all the way home. Family relationships, Reborn? Suuuuure.

* * *

Author's note: For some reason, I think the character I've written here really suits some (of the more sadistic) people the most. I'm maybe thinking of pairing her up with Xanxus, maybe Belphegor, sky's the limit. Anyone have their own pairing ideas they'd like to get out?


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